Mr. Thailand

I was sitting eating breakfast and I felt all poetic all of a sudden… here you go:-

Mr. Thailand.
With your wrist full of beads, Mr. Thailand.
With the crutch of your hippy pants swinging round your knees, Mr. Thailand.
With your t-shirt slogans, your Chang top, or bare chested,
That’s fine, Mr. Thailand, that you have de-vested.
Sip your bucket, Mr.Thailand, chug on that Chang,
What a fine image you are of a travelling farang.

Mr. Thailand.
With your chicken Pad Thai, your banana pancake, Mr. Thailand.
Wash it all down with a sugary shake, Mr. Thailand.
Oh, Mr. Thailand, you’ve been there and done that,
Bettered us all searching off the beaten track.
Kick back, grab a cushion, put up your feet,
Bare your dirty sole to the world, to every person you meet.

Mr. Thailand.
With your down to earth, hippy outlook, Mr. Thailand.
With your Berghauss backpack and your Apple MacBook, Mr. Thailand.
With your ping-pong shows, vaginal acrobatics,
Clocking up a bar bill that tests your mathematics.
Treat yourself to a Thai massage, your limbs endlessly bending,
Hoping the girl offers you a happy ending.

Oh, Mr. Thailand, it’s time to go home.
Wave goodbye to your old trusty Khao San road.
Get that exit stamp, Mr. Thailand, give one final wave.
What a life changing experience,
In only 30 days.