The everlasting coconut

So we’re just sitting in our front porch, chilling in the shade eating green mango with a couple of friends and an old-er local lady who was friends with the Thai member of our little group walks into our garden, gives us a bag full of jackfruit (not my cup of tea) and announces that although we have a lovely house, we should go to see hers because it is very large and we can even have a coconut if we want (this was all done in Thai and loosely translated back to us by our Thai friend). The old lady stood, smiling proudly and gesturing for us to leave. Given little choice, we left our shady cool and followed the lady on foot in the sunshine. Luckily she only lived maybe ten minutes away, and pretty soon we were walking up her long driveway while she dragged her rather vocal dogs by the paws out of our way. She hadn’t lied, her house was huge, but she must have been content with only showing us the outside as we lead around to the back garden which was basically a miniature coconut and banana plantation and also home to some skinny looking chickens and a massive cock (*snigger*). In the corner of the garden a make shift shelter hosted an illegal gambling card game no doubt being operated by her husband.

Now it was time for our coconut tasting.

“You want to tryyyy?”

Not one coconut, not two, not three… I lost count when we overtook seven or eight. Tom was volunteered to get some harder to reach ones, but a lot of his efforts landed on the hard ground and smashed open. The Thai women among us deftly hacked up the coconuts, freeing them from their outer casing with admirable machete skills. We drank coconut water. We ate the flesh. We drank the water with added flesh, smoothie style.

“Try this one it is sweeter!”

“Try this one it is not so sweet!”

Me: “Mmm, yes!” *Tastes the same*.

We even left with take-away coconuts, a bag of sour mangoes and a sweet mango to top it off. We had the most fruity day! Any chance of scurvy has been quashed!

So the moral of today’s story is; There is no such thing as ‘a taster’ in Thailand.

Also, did you know that coconut is a laxative?